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Recent Movie Reviews


The Shape of Love The Shape of Love

Rated 3 / 5 stars

I know I'm in the minority...

.... but something just doesn't sit right with me about this Flash. I understand what the point of it is, the moral of the story, etc. But the fact is (and yes, I know I am being overly analytical when I point this out) the main driving impetus behind his transformations as pertains to self-image just doesn't stand up past the first transformation. It makes sense that he would want to become the muscle man - because the advertisement and, seemingly, general consensus is that those kinds of guys attract the ladies. So there is a REASON for him to take on the muscular look. However, then he goes on to adopt the mantis appendages of the toy, and even airplane details - even though his girlfriend (originally the only reason he was making a transformation - to impress her) indicates to him that this is not what she wants. So, where I originally identified with the desires of the character to look better for his mate, all that identification with the character was squashed into non-existence when he decided to start making himself look like an idiot by taking on the attributes of everything in sight. It doesn't make any sense. Let's say I saw a rapper, and he was getting the chicks. So, to impress my girlfriend, I buy a hoodie. She let's that slide. Then I get a couple gold chains. And then, when I express my intent to upgrade my teeth to golden replacements my girlfriend straight-up tells me that she thinks gold teeth are for jack-asses... in your Flash, the character still gets the gold teeth. I liked the animation style, and the intent of the Flash with respect to moral lesson or point, but part of me just can't get past this glaring error in the story's build-up.


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ScaredyDave responds:

I can respect that. Basically what happened in my mind was that at first yeah, he is trying to impress the girl, but after a bit of it he thinks that just adding onto himself is fun, so he lets the fun of it blind him from what he was originally intending to do. Kind of like someone who has a hobby that their mate disagrees with. Its like, yeah ok, its a little cute that you have a few collectible trains, but when it gets to the point that you're making entire replica cities with working trains and subway systems in your basement then its a problem. Thats the way I viewed it, and I'm glad you shared your opinion. You didnt really "point anything out", its more like you described the plot lol, the way you viewed it was just differently, and thats important to me because chances are you aren't the only one who viewed it like this.


Waiting for redesign Waiting for redesign

Rated 2.5 / 5 stars

Slow

The animation and drawing style were mediocre bordering on slightly-good. it was slow at points for no good reason. Slow is good for building tension at specific moments, or trying to play out some joke where the punchline is how long something took, but when your entire ACTION sequence is marred by enough slow-downs to choke a giraffe, there's something wrong. Story (or is it supposed to be joke/punchline??) needed a lot of work - It started off being about the redesign, and some guy waiting for it. Then it moved on to Tom Fulp going nuts because he lost at Castle Crashers. Some people are claiming "randomness", I would tend to claim more that it is just poor adherence to coherence - I mean, come on... 3/4 of the animation had nothing to do with the redesign.


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The Pigpen The Pigpen

Rated 5 / 5 stars

Really good.

As others have said, had a really poignant message... it's sad that social realities can be summed up in such dark material. And the animation was of top-notch quality and style.

It made me think of something my wife and I were noticing driving through some of the shadier neighborhoods in our area. There are these guys carrying signs calling people to turn in their gold and jewelery for cash. Of course, given the neighborhoods these guys are walking around in, the people paying those guys to wear the signs:

A. know that this target audience will be highly interested in cash
B. it's not entirely likely those people have a lot of gold and jewels just lying around

So, it sorta stands to reason that the guys who are ultimately after the gold to turn a profit really don't care all that much where the gold and jewels actually come from... that is to say... if the people they are advertising to don't have them, and yet they use these ad tactics in those neighborhoods specifically, then there is possibly even an expectation that stolen goods will be turned in to them... and that may be perfectly acceptable from their standpoint.

Sorta like the human in your story, who shows the pig what it is that will get him money by cutting a part of his flesh away... basically teaching the pig how to get the money, and get him rooted in the dirty-deed-doing, so that the human can ultimately get what he wants without having to get his own hands dirty.

Once again, totally awesome in quality, style and message.


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Recent Game Reviews


Arkandian Crusade Arkandian Crusade

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

Interesting.

It seemed like it probably has pretty involved gameplay, and it is fairly well made. There were a few user-interface issues that made it feel wanting for a more seamless experience in terms of transitions. Half the time I wasn't sure exactly what I was expected to click on next in order to proceed with the game.

I also laughed when I saw the name of that first enemy (encountered in the intro)... the "Fak'ough" demon. I read the "ough" as "off", in case it wasn't supposed to be a joke and I've left you wondering what was so funny. So yeah... "fak off" sounds a lot like another popular phrase that comes to mind.


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Satanorium Satanorium

Rated 3 / 5 stars

Walkthrough... pah...

Got stuck somewhere inside the hospital... so I clicked the "walk-through" button. But, lo-and-behold, no walk-through to speak of on the page I was delivered to. Instead, it was a "Play Hub" page with about 50 advertisements on it. What a crock.

Game itself was fair. Storyline was a bit goofy. I mean... she wakes up at her Grandma's, goes out to the little ghost girl in the bushes, and then ends up being teleported to the hospital. but then the descriptions of the game say you're trying to fix your car to leave? Which is it?


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Cat with Bow Golf 2 Cat with Bow Golf 2

Rated 4 / 5 stars

Cool concept

I like the concept, and the execution was good. I didn't really understand why there had to be a ceiling... that cost me a couple strokes a few times. Also, a very un-golf-like aspect to the game was that you could "hit" again (basically perform another "stroke") even while the "ball" (cat) was still moving. I used the technique of purposefully over-shooting the target and then making in-flight trajectory adjustments a few times to save strokes. Not a bad thing... actually made it more interesting in calculating what shot to make sometimes. All in all a really good game.


Recent Audio Reviews


Inspect My Gadget Inspect My Gadget

Rated 0.5 / 5 stars

I would readily bet...

... that those vocals sound absolutely no better live than they do on this recording. What does the "D" stand for anyway? It honestly can't be anything having to do with talent or skill in singing, that is for sure. And while the premise for the song is amusing in it's own right, the lyrics are way too repetitive and juvenile to warrant much merit.

I think it absolutely hilarious, by the way, that you capitalized the word "GIRLS" in your author comments at that particular point in your rant... like you wanted to emphasize the fact that it is girls you have sex with... and not guys or animals or such. Almost like you felt we would suspect you or something. You're such a bad-ass.


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FUNKbrs responds:

I hate the American Idol style of vocals. If that means I have bad taste, then I guess I do. I don't think vocals are very important; I'm an instrumentalist.

BTW, I only fuck guys after they lose a fight with me.


Phantom Tunes #5 Phantom Tunes #5

Rated 4 / 5 stars

Too short...

But otherwise good. I like the overlapping, sustained notes in the sort-of dual melodies being played.